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THE
JOY
OF
FAILURE
Build
your
support
network
for
success
and
happiness
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
©
2008
What
if
you
knew
no
one
would
slice
off
your
right
leg
if
you
made
a
big
mistake?
What
if
you
were
rewarded
for
the
courage
and
confidence
to
fail?
I
want
to
introduce
you
to
the
one
person
who
can
give
you
this
gift.
I
also
want
to
help
you
surround
yourself
with
group
support
during
this
personal
growth
process.
First,
let's
make
sure
we're
on
the
same
page.
FAILURE
101
Failure
is
a
secret
ingredient
in
the
recipe
for
success.
Great
parents
discover
how
to
help
a
child
thrive
because
they
have
the
courage
to
blunder
over
and
over
until
they
learn
more
about
their
little
one's
temperament
and
needs.
In
the
process,
they
establish
a
loving
relationship
that
lasts
for
a
lifetime.
In
fact,
most
kids
eventually
provide
partial
care
for
their
parents.
What
about
screwed-up
romantic
relationships
and
friendships?
My
relationship
disasters
were
the
key
that
unlocked
the
door
to
a
loving
partnership
that,
during
the
past
12
years,
has
amazed
me
with
growing
love
and
trust.
A
series
of
painful
experiences
in
which
I
felt
like
a
victim
showed
me
just
how
much
I
didn't
love
myself.
Other
people
were
mirroring
my
lack
of
self-respect
back
to
me.
I
began
healing
the
one
relationship
that
was
holding
me
back
--
my
relationship
with
myself.
I
stopped
fretting
about
why
other
people
didn't
like
or
respect
me
and
focused
on
accepting
my
warts.
Like
a
miracle,
connections
with
other
people
became
fun
and
rewarding.
I
learned
to
trust
the
process
of
my
life
--
especially
when
it
made
no
sense
to
me.
When
I
began
celebrating
every
mistake,
the
journey
from
"Oh,
poor
me"
to
"Wow!
I
can
be
a
fully
empowered
woman
and
help
other
people"
became
much
easier
and
faster.
Mistakes
are
essential
in
the
business
world.
Post-it
notes,
penicillin,
and
vulcanized
rubber
were
all
created
by
mistake.
Employees
who
play
it
safe
instead
of
taking
healthy
risks
are
usually
initially
rewarded
for
conformity.
However,
they're
eventually
passed
over
when
it's
promotion
time.
Steady
Freddy
and
Betty
aren't
considered
innovative
enough
for
leadership
positions.
It's
impossible
to
stand
out
when
you're
struggling
to
do
what
everyone
else
does.
What
if
Oprah
had
worried
more
often
about
what
people
would
think
if
her
flamboyant
ideas
flopped?
Even
though
she
had
been
told
over
and
over,
"You're
not
the
type
of
person
people
want
to
listen
to,"
Oprah
kept
following
her
passion
until
she
became
the
empowered
woman
you
see
today.
SURROUND
YOURSELF
WITH
SUPPORT
When
I
coach
client
teams
and
Mastermind
Groups,
we
applaud
our
"Hall
of
Shame"
because
participants
had
the
courage
to
take
healthy
risks.
We
celebrate
every
mistake
because
we
know
life
is
a
giant
school,
and
the
road
to
success
is
not
a
straight
line.
Like
medical
students,
we
eagerly
dissect
what
we
laughingly
call
"courage
cadavers"
to
discover
why
a
specific
adventure
failed.
Without
this
knowledge,
we
couldn't
turn
a
fiasco
into
a
major
success.
Our
openness
with
each
other
helps
everyone.
We
bond
with
tears
and
laughter.
We
also
save
each
other
heartaches
and
time.
None
of
us
have
time
to
make
every
possible
mistake,
so
participants
learn
from
each
other's
failures.
During
our
Mastermind
Calls,
anyone
who
wants
to
jump
into
"The
Seat
of
Honor"
shares
what
they've
learned
as
the
rest
of
the
group
listens
attentively.
Those
of
us
who've
had
a
similar
problem
avoid
repeating
it
because
we
view
the
experience
from
a
new
perspective.
Participants
who
haven't
yet
faced
the
dilemma
avoid
it.
If
you
aren't
yet
connected
with
a
great
group
of
people
who
support
you,
reach
out
now.
Identify
new,
objective
people
who
will
help
you
transform
your
mistakes
into
successes.
Make
sure
your
new
friends
understand
the
power
of
healthy
risk
taking.
Friends
and
family
may
appear
to
have
your
best
interests
at
heart,
but
they're
not
objective
and
your
personal
growth
can
make
them
antsy.
Why?
When
we
change,
we
mirror
to
others
how
their
lives
could
be
different.
Most
people
resist
change,
even
when
it's
clearly
to
their
advantage.
Friends
and
family
have
a
picture
of
who
you
are.
It's
probably
an
outdated
photo.
They
may
UNconsciously
prefer
hanging
out
with
an
unhappy
version
of
you
because
it's
familiar
and
doesn't
push
their
buttons.
PRACTICE
BEING
PERFECTLY
IMPERFECT
Give
it
a
go
right
now.
Use
your
non-dominant
hand
to
write
a
letter
or
throw
a
ball.
Notice
that
you
don't
expect
a
perfect
performance
when
you
engage
in
an
activity
for
which
you
have
no
natural
aptitude.
Observe
how
easily
you
can
excuse
ordinary
or
poor
accomplishment.
This
simple
exercise
can
help
you
squelch
your
tendency
to
judge
your
efforts
harshly.
Give
yourself
permission
to
be
as
flawed
as
the
rest
of
us.
Each
time
you
make
a
mistake,
learn
something
valuable.
Then
redirect
your
efforts
in
a
positive
direction.
A
very
dear
friend
told
me
when
she
was
dying
that
she
had
no
regrets
about
her
mistakes.
Her
body
was
fading
rapidly,
but
her
blue
eyes
were
clear
and
bright.
I
was
honored
to
hold
her
hand
as
she
whispered,
"Live
with
passion.
It's
better
to
regret
what
you've
done
than
what
you
never
tried
to
accomplish."
How
about
you?
Are
you
failing
enough
to
be
successful
and
happy?
Visit
http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com now
and
GET
YOUR
FREE
EBOOKS:
"Secrets
of
Happiness
at
Work,"
"Employee
Engagement
Made
Easy,"
and
"Get
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Respect
&
Appreciation
You
Deserve
Now."
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.,
is
"The
Joy
Coach,"
and
she
is
100%
dedicated
to
your
happiness
and
success.
She
is
also
a
corporate
trainer
for
companies
as
large
as
Microsoft.
©
2008
This
article
was
excerpted
with
permission
from
"Joy
on
the
Job"
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
Permission
to
reprint
this
article
is
granted
if
the
article
is
in
tact,
with
proper
credit
given.
All
reprints
must
state,
"Reprinted
with
permission
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
Originally
published
in
"Joy
on
the
Job,"
http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com
©
2008.
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