|
Stop
People
Pleasing
and
Be
The
Star
You
Are!
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
©
2009
Have
you
ever
said
“Yes”
when
you
wanted
to
say
“No?”
Have
you
ever
been
angry
because
your
needs
were
ignored?
Your
self-esteem
will
soar
when
you
stop
being
who
you
think
you
should
be
and
shine
as
the
star
you
are.
Begin
now
because
the
world
is
starved
for
your
unique
talents.
STOP
PEOPLE
PLEASING
If
you
try
to
please
other
people,
a
tune
titled,
“I
Need
to
Be
Accepted”
is
rumbling
through
your
mind.
People-pleasing
behaviors
emerge
when
we
feel
insecure
or
lack
self-respect.
We
waste
time
and
energy
struggling
to
be
who
we
think
someone
else
expects
us
to
be.
People
pleasing
is
a
reliable
recipe
for
failure.
Even
if
we
please
the
other
person,
because
we
aren’t
being
who
we
really
are,
we
only
gain
conditional
approval.
Sooner
or
later
--
usually
at
a
very
inconvenient
time
--
our
façade
crumbles.
The
approval
we
struggled
to
gain
vanishes
like
a
feather
in
a
hurricane.
Self-awareness
and
self-acceptance
are
the
antidotes
for
people
pleasing.
When
we’re
true
to
ourselves,
we
radiate
confidence
that
others
respect,
even
if
they
don’t
want
to
be
best
buddies
because
we
don’t
resonate
with
them.
When
you’re
authentic,
you
love
all
of
your
bumps,
bulges,
warts,
and
wrinkles.
Your
inner
critic
takes
a
hike.
Since
you
approve
of
yourself,
you’re
immune
to
the
opinions
of
others.
You
enjoy
deep
inner
peace,
even
if
other
people
throw
verbal
spears
or
harsh
looks
toward
you.
ELEVATE
SELF-AWARENESS
AND
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
Notice
when
you
belittle
yourself
by
placing
someone
else’s
priorities
above
yours.
What
are
you
trying
to
achieve
by
making
choices
you
don’t
like?
Are
you
struggling
to
fit
into
a
certain
group
by
cramming
yourself
into
a
square
hole
when
you’re
a
beautiful
shining
star?
Is
it
frightening
to
acknowledge
how
capable
you
are?
Self-awareness
will
help
you
alter
patterns
that
don’t
serve
you.
Over
time,
you’ll
discover
that
meeting
your
needs
is
best
for
everyone
concerned.
BE
YOU
Share
your
authentic
self
with
others.
The
world
will
be
much
more
supportive
because
you’ll
attract
people
who
are
genuinely
interested
in
you.
They’ll
perceive
and
appreciate
your
special
gifts.
Being
true
to
yourself
is
one
of
the
greatest
services
you
can
provide.
Without
saying
a
word,
your
heartfelt
presence
will
encourage
others
to
be
authentic.
One
by
one,
two
by
two,
sincere
and
honest
people
will
create
a
kind
and
gentle
world
by
living
their
truth.
DO
YOUR
DESTINY
Until
you
muster
the
courage
to
stop
hiding
your
true
self
under
the
veil
of
who
you
think
you’re
supposed
to
be,
your
inner
flame
will
be
so
dim
that
you’ll
never
grasp
how
brilliant
you
are.
Once
you
decide
to
be
genuine,
the
special
light
that
only
you
can
shine
will
glow
with
a
radiance
that
will
astound
you.
Surround
yourself
with
support.
Friends
and
family
sometimes
feel
threatened
when
you
change.
You
show
them
a
mirror
of
how
they
could
grow.
When
you
hire
a
professional
coach,
you're
loving
yourself
enough
to
ensure
that
you're
supported
by
someone
who
believes
in
your
ability
to
achieve
your
dreams.
Your
coach
will
offer
you
objective
feedback
and
nurture
your
growth.
Visit
http://www.FreeJoyOnTheJobEbooks.com now
and
GET
YOUR
FREE
EBOOKS:
"Secrets
of
Happiness
at
Work,"
"Employee
Engagement
Made
Easy,"
and
"Get
the
Respect
&
Appreciation
You
Deserve
Now."
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.,
is
"The
Joy
Coach,"
and
she
is
100%
dedicated
to
your
happiness
and
success.
She
is
also
a
corporate
trainer
for
companies
as
large
as
Microsoft.
©
2009
This
article
was
excerpted
with
permission
from
"Joy
on
the
Job"
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
Permission
to
reprint
this
article
is
granted
if
the
article
is
in
tact,
with
proper
credit
given.
All
reprints
must
state,
"Reprinted
with
permission
by
Doris
Helge,
Ph.D.
Originally
published
in
"Joy
on
the
Job,"
http://MoreJoyOnTheJob.com
©
2009.
|
Deserve!
